The entire oeuvre of the pollution-tackling superhero will soon be available online – allowing us to see him for the lazy, impotent dolt he really is

This is going to sound like hyperbole, but it isn’t. The very worst thing about the ongoing climate change crisis is Cartoon Network’s decision to make every episode of Captain Planet available digitally. If we had all got our act together and managed to sort out this mess, Captain Planet would be an anachronism. We wouldn’t need to see his stupid blue face, or hear his stupid theme tune, or endure any more of his stupid, too-literal sermonising ever again. But, instead, he will be on Amazon Prime soon. Well done, everybody.

My God, Captain Planet was the worst. Of course, you might disagree with this, because you were raised in the 1990s and are gripped by a violent desire to defend everything from that time as unimpeachably perfect. You have a foggy memory of the Captain Planet theme tune and that’s enough for you, because you are a Kangol-hat-wearing clod . Trust me, I have just been watching episodes of Captain Planet, and it is the worst.

Continue reading…
Source: Guardian Climate Change